Loud And Clear

How loud is the voice 

of silence?

-Jennifer-

I talked in my last article about the practice of non-attachment.  It's been showing up in my life quite frequently.  And yesterday was no exception.  I was asked by a friend to teach her how to begin a yoga practice.  We talked over dinner the other night about how unhappy she is not only with her body, but in the way she handles certain situations in life.  She is wanting to not be so high strung and more open to everything.  

I prepared over the weekend a practice of meditation and postures primarily focusing on hip and heart openers.  Knowing my friend carries unresolved emotional pain daily from her childhood, I wanted to design a practice that would benefit her the most.  So she could see the release not only physically, but also emotionally that the practice of yoga could offer her. 

As I was preparing a playlist for the session, my friend contacted me and said she wasn't feeling well and wanted to know if we could meet later in the day.  I knew that probably wouldn't work with my schedule. Even though I had spent quite a bit of time preparing, I didn't think anything of the change in plans.  That in itself created a funny reaction in my body. That funny reaction was silence. I didn't have disappointment over the cancellation.  It was the silence of accepting the outcome of the situation.  I knew that another time would be more appropriate for either her or me or both of us for this practice.  It is the newness of no reaction as things change that continues to arise for me multiple times within the same day anymore.  I can plan all I want.  But as I always say, the Universe's plan is just what I need.

I looked at the time and it was almost time for Super Soul Sunday to begin.  I turned on the television not knowing the author Mark Nepo that was being featured.  As soon as the interview began, I realized why my plans had been changed. I needed to hear and receive the messages in this episode.  Nepo talked about his own awakening that stemmed from his cancer diagnoses over twenty years ago. How his life changed in an instant and the blessing that diagnosis was to his life. Now his books are on my must read wish list.  

He said many quotes that brought me to tears. He is a poet as well, so it was no surprise he could word things so beautifully.  He stated at one point that it isn't the thing that breaks us open, it is what that thing breaks us open to.  That resonated so deeply with me.  My marriage was the very thing that broke me down. Yet it was the very thing that led to my divorce that broke me open and has allowed me to live a new and better life.  

This got me to reflect on the last three years but also my conscious shift in perceptions that I began over one year ago.  To think of my past and the constant chatter in my mind.  In the beginning of this journey of how desperately I wanted to be somewhere and someone else.  The evolution of my own Self that has taken place has been an incredible blessing.  And an unbreakable one at that.  

I no longer look at hardships and challenges as punishments.  I hear the lessons loud and clear in everything I do.  I look at all experiences as victories.  And I see victories as celebrations of faithfulness. It is in silence that I found my voice again.  It is in peace that I found my own love that I so desperately searched for. It is in grace that I found the hand of my Divine that holds me eternally.  

I am so grateful for the pain that broke me because it sent me on the great search for my Self.  I didn't know the person I was in my marriage.  I had to break my life down in order to figure out how I became that person and also to figure out how to not go down that same road ever again.  

I feel the shifts in my life as they are happening.  They appear to be happening at greater magnitude and with greater force.  I wonder if it is the shifts that are greater or if it is me that is awakening more in the presence of them?  I feel a connection with everyone and everything that strengthens moment to moment. I see miracles happening at the speed of light, yet by my being present, they seem to be in slow motion.  There is a stillness that follows me everywhere I go.  That stillness allows me to see the big picture and to heed the call of my own purpose.  It is in stillness that I receive direction and feel the guided hands of direction in everything that I do.  My mantra through life is, "I am present, so I will receive".  

So how loud is the voice of silence in your own life?  Share with us, we would love to hear from you!

As always with love,

Jennifer

Email me at jfremionfw@gmail.com

 ©2013 Jennifer Fremion. All rights reserved.